The difference between court-ordered mediation and our process

In North Carolina, parties who sue for equitable distribution of property, post-separation support, and alimony are ordered by the court to participate in mediation.

Court-ordered mediation is different than the mediation that we provide. You and your spouse will sit in separate rooms with your lawyers, and the mediator will go back and forth. You'll spend a lot of time wondering what the mediator is talking with your spouse about and why it's taking so long. You'll pay for your attorney's time and the mediator's time while you are waiting. The mediator will carry offers between the rooms. If your spouse makes a ridiculous offer, you will be angry, and you will make a ridiculous counteroffer. This exchange will continue for much of the day until you are thoroughly exhausted. Each of you will feel pushed (by your lawyer and the mediator) to give up things that are important to you. And when it's finally over, you will probably feel like you gave up more than you should have.

When we mediate your family law case, we meet with both of you in the same room. You and your spouse do the talking. We help you voice your concerns and needs in a way that your spouse will hear and understand. If you have attorneys, they serve as coaches and advisors in the background, not negotiators. You set the pace. You settle when you have jointly figured out how to establish independent lives using the money and property at your disposal. We work in short sessions, not a marathon of attrition and concessions.

How would you prefer to settle your case?