Mediation is a process in which a neutral expert helps you resolve all issues related to the dissolution of your marriage. Unlike a judge or arbitrator, the mediator does not make decisions for the parties. Instead, the mediator guides you through a negotiation toward a settlement. The mediator helps identify issues, eliminate communication barriers, and evaluate possible solutions.

It’s faster, cheaper, more convenient, and less stressful than the alternatives. Plus, you get to decide what happens to your money and what’s best for your children.

You do not need a lawyer to mediate. In most cases we handle, unless mediation has been court-ordered, lawyers typically do not attend and do not negotiate on behalf of the parties.

However, we do recommend that you hire consulting attorneys. As mediators, we cannot provide legal advice. Also, we cannot draft your separation agreement or prepare divorce papers.

Here’s the key difference:

Full attorney representation. Your attorney handles everything–document collection and review, negotiations, and court filings. Average cost: $10,000+ per person.

Consulting attorney (recommended). You mediate and make joint decisions. Your attorney then reviews the summary, answers legal questions, and prepares final documents. Average cost: $2,000-2,500.

Most cases can be successfully mediated in 3-6 sessions occurring over a few weeks. To keep things manageable, we usually work in blocks of 2 hours. We will ask you to do some homework between sessions. This typically involves gathering information and thinking about your proposals. The more prepared you are, the faster you’ll reach a resolution.

Mediation occurs in private, and you and your spouse can agree to keep matters discussed and your agreements confidential.

Also, we as your mediators cannot disclose what you tell us in mediation, except in very limited circumstances. This provides you with the opportunity to have a frank and open discussion about what you both need to be financially secure.

About 90% of couples who mediate reach full agreement. But even if you don’t resolve everything, you still benefit:

Partial agreement saves money. If you agree on 80% of issues, your attorneys only negotiate the remaining 20%, dramatically reducing their time and your costs.

You’ve lost nothing. If mediation doesn’t work, you can still hire attorneys. You’ve simply tried the less expensive path first.

No wasted investment. Mediation fees are pay-as-you-go. If mediation isn’t working, we can discuss whether to continue.

It depends on you. We bill for time spent in mediation, reviewing and organizing documents, and summarizing information and agreements you reach. There’s no deposit or retainer; you pay as you go. You can commit to mediation one session at a time and can stop if it is not working for you.

You can do things to reduce your costs. The more work you do between sessions, such as gathering, organizing, and accurately summarizing financial records, the faster you will proceed through mediation.

During initial phone calls and at the orientation session, we carefully screen each case to determine if mediation is appropriate. Generally, mediation is not appropriate in cases involving abuse or where one party has a motive other than negotiating a settlement in good faith. In addition, we reserve the right to end mediation if one party tries to dominate the negotiation or improperly influence the decisions of the other, or if a proposed agreement seems unconscionable.

No. Here’s why:

1. Legal requirement. Both of you will sign an agreement to provide complete, truthful financial information.

2. Document verification. We review tax returns, bank statements, retirement account statements, property deeds, credit card statements — everything that shows your complete financial picture.

3. Professional review. You should have your consulting attorney review the financial disclosure to ensure nothing is missing.

4. Outside experts. If you genuinely suspect hidden assets, we can discuss bringing in a forensic accountant as part of mediation, or you may need to use the traditional attorney route with formal discovery.

Full transparency is essential for mediation to work. If someone is actively hiding assets, mediation isn’t appropriate.

They’re very different:

1. Mediation. The mediator facilitates a negotiation and helps you reach your own agreements. You maintain complete control. If you don’t reach agreement, nothing is binding.

2. Arbitration. A neutral third party (arbitrator) hears both sides and makes decisions for you, like a private judge. The arbitrator’s decisions are usually binding.

In some cases, the spouses will choose a combined approach called “mediation-arbitration.” First, they will attempt to make joint decisions. If any issues remain, the mediator will switch into the role of decision-maker. This process allows for finality without having to hire new professionals or go to court.

Many people initially resist because they think they need “their own attorney” or they’re afraid of being taken advantage of. Here’s what we suggest:

1. Share the cost comparison. Ask them, would you rather share the cost of a mediator or each hire our own lawyers and potentially spend $10,000 or more each? The math is compelling.

2. Emphasize joint decision making and legal review. Let them know they’ll have an equal say in all decisions reached during mediation, and they’ll have their own attorney review everything before signing. They’re not giving up legal protection–they’re just saving money on the process.

3. Joint consultation. We offer a free 30-minute mediation consultation that both of you attend. Sometimes hearing directly from a mediator helps people understand it’s not one-sided.

4. Frame it as an option to try. “Let’s try mediation first. If it doesn’t work, we can still hire attorneys. We’ve lost nothing by trying the less expensive path first.”

Usually within 1-2 weeks. Here’s the typical timeline:

Today. Schedule your free consultation.

Within 3-5 days. Complete your consultation.

Within 1 week. Sign agreement to mediate, receive financial disclosure forms.

Within 2-3 weeks. Complete your mediation homework and schedule your first session.

From first contact to final agreement, most couples complete the process in 2-4 months.