You have options when it comes to your separation and divorce. Here are the five most common ways. The Kitchen Table Approach Couples that communicate well can often work out a convenient parenting plan for their children, make lists of their assets and debts, and determine how to divide them fairly. Sometimes, they will draw up a simple separation agreement.…
Many people ask us what they need to do or file to become legally separated from their spouse. In North Carolina, there is no document that must be signed or filed for you to become legally separated. You are legally separated when you no longer live with your spouse. At least one of you must also intend for your separation…
Couples in complex and challenging circumstances can use marital mediation to preserve and strengthen their relationships. Couples in challenging circumstances that are causing stress on their relationships can restore harmony using marital mediation. Issues arise from time to time in every marriage. They may involve finances, in-law relationships, caring for elderly or disabled family members, negotiating family responsibilities, dealing with…
William J. Doherty, Ph.D., The Intentional Family: Simple Rituals to Strengthen Family Ties "An Intentional Family is one whose members create a working plan for maintaining and building family ties, and then implement the plan as best they can." This book is all about rituals, those "repeated and coordinated activities that have significance for the family" and bond members together. There…
John M. Gottman, Ph.D., and Nan Silver, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, Ph.D., is an expert on marriage stability and predicting divorce. For 40 years, he has studied the relationships of thousands of couples over extended periods of time. Based on this research, after observing a couple interact -- by discussing an ongoing disagreement -- for just a…
JoAnne Pedro-Carroll, Ph.D., Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce This book is one we highly recommend to our clients with children. Right out of the box, Dr. Pedro-Carroll identifies the concerns nearly all children face when their parents separate. Next, she teaches how to respond to those concerns with empathy and love. She debunks the…
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too (Revised Ed.) Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have written two timeless "how-to" books on communication skills for parents. Both are derived from their experiences as parents and child development specialists. In…
Robert E. Emery, Ph.D., The Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive Dr. Robert Emery is a professor of psychology and the director of the Center for Children, Families, and the Law at the University of Virginia. He is the author of more than 100 scientific publications and several books. His research…
Sam Margulies, Ph.D., Getting Divorced Without Ruining Your Life Sam Margulies' book is one of the best books on divorce on the market. It is a must-read for spouses contemplating separation. The first part provides an overview of the economic, legal, and emotional landscape of divorce. It also explains the roles of lawyers, mediators, and other professionals. The second part describes how…
Divorce is one of the most stressful life experiences some people will endure. The prolonged and complicated nature of the process, coupled with the strong emotions that the process evokes, can lead to burnout. Burnout is more than ordinary stress and tiredness. Burnout is exhaustion with a strong sense of powerlessness. Left unchecked, it can cause frustration, withdrawal, procrastination, overload,…